I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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