STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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