I accidentally had phone sex last night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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