tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
