I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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