Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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