she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
