She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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