You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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