Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
