the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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