We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
