Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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