I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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