so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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