My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well you can't waste a boner
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
