What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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