I'm so fucking centered right now
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
