Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
