Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
