So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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