i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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