Sry I called you an 8
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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