she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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