Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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