Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
