How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
