He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
