but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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