If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
