just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
