Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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