do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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