her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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