I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
