Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
