why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
