My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
