eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
