my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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