We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
