wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it's like iHOP with fire
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
