And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
