In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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