I wanna passion pit in your ass
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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