The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
