i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
