No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
