...so i touched it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
