@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
