# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
