i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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