You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
